Dear Millionaire

Dear Million Dollar Home Owner,

Wow, you have a big ass house! It looks pretty sweet from out here in the street. Is that an in-ground pool in your backyard? Do you actually have 4 cars in your 4 car garage? Kudos on living large. If MTV was still producing episodes of Cribs, you could easily be featured as a suburban baller. Anyhoo, now that I have your attention, can I ask why you have yet to shovel your sidewalk? I honestly would not have noticed except that I almost broke my neck while running in front of your million dollar home at 5:30 this morning. I know it hasn't snowed much, really it's only been 2 days, but isn't that all the more reason for you to have taken care of this ice-sludge mess? Usually by early January we have been slammed with snow in Western PA, so most people start to get lazy. I can sympathize with that. This year, however, we haven't seen flakes since October. Surely you cannot still be recovering from October! Could you not afford a shovel and salt because you spend $200/week filling your luxury SUVs with gas? Or have you simply forgotten what it's like to be one of us "common folk" who actually use public sidewalks? Isn't all of this ice on your sidewalk an insurance liability? I'm sure you would lawyer up in the event of an accident, but a bag of salt is much cheaper than a retainer fee. Certainly, even if you don't have the time to shovel and salt, you have an extra 10 bucks to throw at some neighborhood kid to come out and take care of this for you. I'm not asking for much, millionaire, just some safe sidewalk space so I can run in relative safety. Thanks for your time!

Best,

RunRebRun